Aftermath
by SheAngelus
Summary: Spike and the gang help Dawn cope with losing Buffy. Takes place after The Gift. Please r/r! I love feedback!


"Dawn, you have to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning," pleaded Xander. He was standing a the doorway to Dawn's room. She was lieing in her bed. She had been in her bed for a week. Only coming out to take a bath and use the bathroom. Everyone tried to get her to eat. She refused. Sometimes Spike could get her to eat, but with the others, it was impossible.  
  
"I can't believe this," he mumbled to himself as he walked out of the room.  
  
He walked down the steps and into the kitchen.  
  
"Morning," he said weakly to Willow. He had stayed over the night before to watch over Dawn. Willow was too weak.  
  
  
  
Everyone was weak. Everyone was breaking down.  
  
Ever since Buffy died.  
  
She had sacrificed herself to save the world. Jumped off the tower into the energy tare. She had saved everyone. She had kept hell from coming on earth.  
  
She was a hero.  
  
And now that she's gone, no one was coping.  
  
Dawn was getting weaker everyday. She blamed herself because she's the key that opened the thing in the first place.  
  
Willow blamed herself because she wasn't strong enough to kill Glory the first time she went after her.  
  
Xander blamed himself because he was the only normal one and couldn't do anything to help her.  
  
Spike blamed himself because he couldn't stop Doc. If he hadn't let Doc get the better of him, Buffy would still be here.  
  
Anya didn't really blame herself. She didn't know anything she could have done better than what she did, so she just helped comfort.  
  
Tara didn't blame herself either, but she wished she hadn't let Glory get to her. If she hadn't had that fight with Willow, maybe she could have done something to stop it.  
  
No one had a clean consience.  
  
No one blamed each other.  
  
Only themselves.  
  
  
  
Xander opened the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk and made him a bowl of cereal. He went and sat down next to Willow.  
  
"She won't eat," Xander said, talking about Dawn.  
  
"Go get Spike," she said weakly.  
  
"But it's the middle of the day and maybe I can get Dawn to eat. Besides-"  
  
"Just do it."  
  
Xander didn't argue. Willow was in no condition to fight with him and he knew Spike was the only one that could get Dawn to eat. And if Dawn didn't eat soon she would starve to death.  
  
Xander finished his breakfast and went out to his car and drove to cemetary.  
  
He walked through the cemetary, trying to avoid what was only drawing him closer.  
  
He stood at the foot of Buffy's grave. He dropped to his knees and started to cry, burying his face in his hands.  
  
"Why am I the only one that's normal? I could have helped her. But I'm not a s-super hero. Or a warlock. Or a stupid vampire. I'm just a normal person that couldn't even keep his bestfriend from dieing," he whispered to himself. He layed on the ground, stroking the grass with his hand.  
  
"I'm so sorry."  
  
  
  
At Spike's crypt, he couldn't sleep. He had thought about it once or twice, but everytime he would drift into a fitful sleep, he would always dream about that night, and wake up in a cold sweat.  
  
So, he just sat in his chair, eyes scanning the ceiling, trying to rid his mind of the memories of that awful night. He felt tears come to his eyes when he remembered seeing her life-less body lying on the pile of ruble. The tears spilled over and ran down his hollow cheeks.  
  
Just then, the door to his crypt burst open. Spike quickly wiped his eyes and stood to face the intruder, making sure to stay out of the sunlight.  
  
"Whelp?" he said, confused when Xander came through his door. Of course, there were only two people who burst into his crypt without knocking.  
  
And one is gone.  
  
He should have known.  
  
"What happened to you?" he asked when he noticed Xander's eyes were red and he had grass stains on his clothes.  
  
"Just a little trip down memory lane. But, that's not why I'm here. As much as I hate to admit it, we need you."  
  
"Uh huh. Big surprise. What is it?"  
  
"It's Dawn." Spike was suddenly at full alert.  
  
"What's wrong with Dawn? What happened?"  
  
"Nothing," he said holding up his hands,:"Well, not really. Nothing's happened. It's just, she still won't eat.. I try to give her something and she refuses. And I know that you can get her to eat since you've gotten her to eat before. So would you help us?"  
  
"Of course, Whelp. Why wouldn't I? No wait," he said raising his hand as he grabbed his duster and blanket," don't answer that. You'll probably give me a million reasons that you've thought up in that big head of your's of why I'm so bad that I would let Buffy's little sister starve."  
  
With that he walked out the door, leaving Xander to gauwk.  
  
  
  
When they reached the house, Spike threw the smouldering blanket to the ground and ran up the steps two at a time. Giving Willow a causual 'Hi' as he walked by her room.  
  
He stopped outside Dawn's room to compose himself, making sure there was no evidence of his earlier grieving, and walked into the room.  
  
Dawn was curled up under the covers, making her look small and fragile. Her eyes were closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep.  
  
He walked over and sat next to her on the bed . He reached out to stroke her arm gently. He could feel her tense muscles relax at his touch.  
  
Her eyes opened.  
  
"Hey," she whispered softly. He looked at her face.  
  
"Hey Nibblet."  
  
"What are you doin' here?"  
  
She pulled herself into a sitting position.  
  
"Wondering why you won't eat."  
  
"I'm not hungary."  
  
"It's not my concern wether you're hungary or not. My concern is that you are going to starve yourself if you don't eat. And if you starve then you die."  
  
"Good," she said forcfully. Spike was taken aback.  
  
"Good. I want to die. Because if I die then, I can see Buffy again. Even it's only once. Even if I have to spend the rest of eternity in hell. I can still see her again," she finished as started to cry. Spike pulled her into a hug.  
  
"Your not going to die, Bit. I won't let you. Your all I have left." His eyes started to brim with tears, but he quickly wiped them away.  
  
"Before your sis died, I promised that I would protect you till the end of the world. And I don't intend to break that promise. Which means I won't let you starve yourself. Because that would be suicide. And that's a sure one-way ticket to hell. I won't let you go to hell."  
  
She looked up to his face and into his eyes. She could tell he was hurting as much, if not more, as she was. But he was still strong enough to help her. Dawn wanted to be like him.  
  
She wanted to be strong.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Spike let her out of his grip. Dawn reached over to the bagel and water that Xander had tried to get her to eat earlier. She took a small bite of the bagel.  
  
He grinned at her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
She smiled back.  
  
  
  
When she finished her bagel and drank the water, Spike offered to leave so she could rest.  
  
"No. I want you to stay."  
  
She patted the place in front of her.  
  
"Come sit." H was reluctant, but went and sat in front of her on the bed.  
  
They sat in silence for a few seconds. Dawn's eyes were wondering around the room, but Spike was staring at her face, into her eyes.  
  
She was his only friend.  
  
I mean, sure, Willow and Tara might feel sorry for him, but no one was his friend. He wouldn't have even been with them when she died if Buffy hadn't admited to needing his help.  
  
But, in the end, he wasn't much of a help. He may have fought and battled all night, but he could even keep Doc from bleeding Dawn.  
  
"What?" asked Dawn when she noticed Spike was staring at her.  
  
He snapped out of his daze.  
  
"Uh? Oh, nothing," he said looking down.  
  
"Are you okay?" Dawn asked."You looked so sad when you were staring at me."  
  
"I'm fine, Bit." He stood up."If you just want me to sit here I need to get back to my crypt." He turned to leave.  
  
"Do you miss her?"  
  
Spike stopped short. He turned around, facing Dawn.  
  
"I mean, I know you miss her, but why? You've known her for five years, and half of that time you wanted kill her. What made you change your mind? Why do you love her so much? Why do you love me?"  
  
He sat back down on the bed, knowing Dawn wasn't going to let him get away with a quick and short answer.  
  
"I-I don't know, Bit. She was just.....I'm not sure. Or at least I didn't know at first. I dreamed of her, thought of her every night. I thought I was going crazy. But...after awhile, I noticed a difference. After I was on her side, she didn't treat me like some thing that gets in the way. She treated me like a man. And I told her that, the day before....... I love your sister. Nothing will ever change my mind."  
  
Dawn watched his eyes and face while he was talking. She could tell he was doing everything he could to keep from crying. She knew he would cry if he was sad enough. He had completly brokan down when Buffy died. Dawn knew he was hurting.  
  
She placed a hand on his arm.  
  
"You can cry, you know. It's not going to make me feel bad. I cry all the time. It's natural. We all just lost someone we love and care about. And no matter what Xander says about you not caring, I know you do."  
  
He looked at her. He could see her eyes filling with tears, as did his. But he held them back.  
  
"Oh, believ me. I know I can cry," he said to Dawn."You should have seen me when Dru dumped me the first time. I was a complete basket case. Ask Red. She knows."  
  
"Then why don't you cry now?"  
  
Spike looked down again. Searchig for a reason why he shouldn't just break down right then and make a complete fool of himself. But he knew would make a deal about it. It wouldn't be right.  
  
"Because now it's different. Now, I have someone I have to take care of. Some one that I can't just break down in front of because they say it's okay. I have to be strong."  
  
They sat in silence.  
  
"Well, you and Buffy had a lot in common. When Mom was dying, Buffy never cried in front of me. She always put up a strong front and nothing made her cry."  
  
Spike remembered him and Buffy sitting on the back porch, her crying her eyes and him comforting her, even though the whole reason he had been there is because he was going to kill her.  
  
"She was very strong," he agreed.  
  
Dawn looked up at him.  
  
"Then, why can't I be that strong?" she asked. She started to cry. Spike pulled her up into his lap.  
  
"Because your not suppose to. You don't have to be strong. She was your sister. She loved you. You loved her. You have every right to cry. Me, I still have you. I have someone to be strong for. If you had both died, I wold have staked myself. I could deal with Dru leaving, because I knew she was still there. She was insane. I used that as a reason to get over it. But, Buffy. She was beautiful, strong, and caring sister and friend. Even to me. But she will never be back. I can't just go off and force her to come back. She'll never be back."  
  
"I don't think she even knew how much you loved her."  
  
Spike let her out off his grasp, deciding maybe he should keep from getting too emotional.  
  
"Did she ever tell you that she kissed me once?" he asked her.  
  
"Really! Why, when, and where did she do that?" she asked, astonished.  
  
"Right after she saved my ass from Glory. She had come to my crypt to see if I had told Glory about you. I guess she didn't trust me then cause she came acting like that robot. I didn't know the difference. She acted like she was going to go tell Glory that you were the key and since I didn't know it was the real her, I stopped her. I told her that if Glory got to you, Buffy wouldn't ever be herself. I told her I would rather let Glory kill me. Then, she kissed me. That's when I knew she was the real Buffy. She said the robot was gone, but she said she would never forget what I did for you and her."  
  
"She what?!" said a voice behind them. They turned around to see Xander in the doorway.  
  
"Oh, bloody hell," Spike muttered to himself.  
  
"She said she managed to get out of you that you didn't tell, she never said she kissed you!" Xander looked digusted.  
  
"Isn't it cool?" asked Dawn.  
  
"That wasn't exactly the word I was searching for."  
  
"I thought it was amazing," Spike spoke up.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure it was," Xander said sarcastically."Look, I'm glad you got a little gift for not telling Glory, but that's not something I care to discuss. I came up her to see if you got Dawn to eat."  
  
Dawn held up the empty glass and plate.  
  
"Yup. In fact, will you get me another bagel. And some milk. Water doesn't really work for me."  
  
Xander just stared at them.  
  
"How do you do that? We have sat here and begged her to eat for days and you just come up here and she eats. What do you do, force-feed her?"  
  
"No. I just know what she's going through."  
  
"And we don't."  
  
"Now I didn't say that-"  
  
"Hold up, you guys. I don't want you two to be fighting. Xander, go get the food," she said pointing to the door.  
  
Xander looked like he was about to say something, but decided against it and walked out of the room.  
  
She turned back to Spike.  
  
"Would you two at least make an effort to be nice?"  
  
Spike grinned.  
  
"Sure, Bit."  
  
  
  
That night, Dawn wanted Spike to stay the night. She wanted to rent movies and do something fun, to take their minds off ......everything.  
  
"Everyone can come over and we can watch movies and eat popcorn and it would be fun," she said to Xander. Xander was liking the idea. Everyone was in major need of something fun in their life.  
  
"Does Spike have to come?" he whined.  
  
"Yes. And there is no way around it. And I don't want you two to fight. I'll get Willow to put a spell on you if you do," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Fine. I'll tell the others. Where's Spike? Not that I care. I just don't feel like bumping into him right now."  
  
"He's out. He said he was getting me something," she said.  
  
"Okay." He left her room.  
  
She reached for something she had stuffed under her bed before Xander had come in. It was a box full of some of Buffy's old things. She rooted through it, seeing the ring Angel had given her, a stake Kendra called Mr.Pointy, a picture of Joyce, a picture of her, Xander and Willow, then she found what she was looking for. It was a cross necklace that Angel had given her her first day in Sunnydale. Dawn may not like Angel that much, but she knew the necklace had ment alot to Buffy.  
  
She put the necklace on. It made her feel close to Buffy. It was a good feeling. It made her feel strong.  
  
  
  
She headed down the stairs a little while later. Willow and Tara were sitting next to each other on the couch and Anya was sitting in the chair.  
  
"Where's Spike and Xander?" Dawn asked.  
  
"They went to get some food. and movies," answered Willow.  
  
"Together? Without killing each other? Since when did they become friends?"  
  
"Well, we kinda made them," said Tara sheepishly.  
  
"We told them that if they really cared about you, they would learn to get along. But, I sorta had to threaten to put a spell on them before thay actually agreed," said Willow.  
  
"Cool. So what are we watching?" she asked as she sat down next to Willow.  
  
"Don't know. We told them to figure it. Just no romance, horror, or sad endings."  
  
"Well that leaves us with a wide selection," said Dawn sarcastically.  
  
"We could watch Jerry Springer reruns," spoke up Anya.  
  
"Uh, no thank you. I think I'll pass," said Tara.  
  
"Don't worry," assured Willow,"they'll figure something out."  
  
Just then, Xander and Spike walked through the door.  
  
"Just shut up, Harris," Spike muttered.  
  
"Why don't you make me? Oh yeah, I forgot, you can't."  
  
"I can still try," he said, turning so that he was facing Xander.  
  
Then the heard a giggle. They both turned to see Dawn look like she was about to burst.  
  
"What?" they said in usion.  
  
"You two," she said after she caught her breath,"are hilarious when you fight."  
  
They were slightly embarrased, but that was forgetten when they reached the fact that this was the first time Dawn had laughed since Buffy died. It was a comforting sound that filled the room with happiness.  
  
"She's right, you know," said Anya. "You two act like you're about to pounce on each other, even though it's obvilous that you're bluffing."  
  
"I wasn't bluffing," they said in usion again. They looked at each other in disgust and walked in seperate directions.  
  
Dawn started to laugh again.  
  
Xander went into the kitchen to make some popcorn while Spike brought the movies into the room.  
  
"Sorry kiddies but there is no way you can find a movie that doesn't have romance in it," he said as he handed the movies to Dawn.  
  
"What did you get?" she asked as she pulled them out of the ag they were in.  
  
"Don't know. Whelp picked them all out."  
  
"Oooh," Dawn squealed.  
  
"What?" everyone asked.  
  
"Xander got all the movie's I've been wanting to see."  
  
"And they are..." asked Willow.  
  
"Let me see....Tomb Raider.....Bring It On......Fast and the Furious.....and The Mummy Returns. Xander is the coolest."  
  
"Are any of those movies going to make me hurl?" asked Spike.  
  
"I think you'll like Fast and the Furious. Really cool cars and lots of speed. Tomb Raider is so cool. This girl, Lara Croft, is like really strong and smart and has to find this thing for something else...I don't really know the whole story, but my friends say it's really cool. The Mummy Returns is also really cool. But kinda confusing if you haven't seen the first one. Bring It On is the only one that I think you won't like. It's about cheerleaders that have to win this big competirion against this other squad and it's kind of a chick flick. Sort of."  
  
"Who wants popcorn?" asked Xander as he walked into the room with two big bowls of popcorn. He settled himself on the chair with Anya in his lap while Spike took a seat next to Dawn.  
  
They watched three out of four movies before Dawn fell asleep with her head in Spike's lap. Willow and Tara had moved to the floor so that Dawn could spread out on the couch. She had fell asleep shortly afterwards.  
  
"Should I try and move her?" asked Spike.  
  
"Unless you just can't stand being there, I would say just sleeping there for tonight," said Tara.  
  
"Okay." He shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable. 'Easier said than done' he thought.  
  
Xander and Anya had falled asleep in the chair and Willow was lying on the floor using her arm as a pillow. Tara was the only one awake. She got up and walked into the kitchen.  
  
She came back with a tray of ice.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Tara walked over to Xander.  
  
"Having some fun."  
  
She twisted the tray and a few ice cubes popped up. She set the tray down and picked up the ice cubes.  
  
"Watch this," she said. She took the cubes and put them down the back of Xander's shirt.  
  
Xander shot out of his chair.  
  
"Cold! What the hell did you do?" he said sending a glare at a laughing Tara as he tried to get the ice out of his shirt.  
  
Spike grinned.  
  
"Good trick."  
  
"Xander?" asked Anya when she had been pushed out of the chair.  
  
"Sorry Anya. Tara was having a little fun by putting ice down my shirt."  
  
Anya got up and pulled the back of his shirt out of his pants to that the ice fell out.  
  
"There, now stop being such a baby."  
  
By that time everyone had woken up. Dawn sat up, making Spike wince as the pressure on his leg was lifted. Willow had sat up and was rubbing her eyes.  
  
"What's going on?" asked Dawn.  
  
"Harris is being a baby."  
  
"Am not, you big...vampire.!" countered Xander.  
  
"Oh I'm hurt. Nice comeback though."  
  
"Spike, shut up."  
  
"Okay," said Willow who was fully awake now,"you two are not going to start that again. Just remember what I said," she said in a threatening tone.  
  
They shut up.  
  
Dawn got off the couch and walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. Willow came in behind her.  
  
"What exactly did you say you would do, anyway?"  
  
"Oh, I said I would put a spell on them that would make them like each other. I didn't think it would have the effect that it did."  
  
Dawn laughed.  
  
"Cool."  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
